When trauma surfaces in couples therapy, are you prepared?
Over the years, I’ve seen couples therapists react to clients experiencing trauma in a variety of ways:
- Avoid it because it’s too heavy
- Refer the client to individual therapy
- Desire more experience but be unsure where to get it
- Handle the crisis systemically, and then see therapy stall because there was no individual development during the couples work
- Apply Developmental Model concepts and help traumatized clients develop a solid sense of self
Skilled couples therapists recognize that trauma reenactment is almost inevitable and is not a predictor of a bad relationship. In fact, trauma reenactment can be a powerful stimulus for growth.
And how you perceive and address your client’s trauma makes a huge difference.
But it’s a delicate balance.
How do you address past trauma if clients came in for something different?
How do you identify the existence of trauma through subtle cues like inadvertent jabs or intense responses to mild triggers?
And if you have a feeling that unresolved trauma is a source of conflict for the couple, how do you address it individually within the context of couples work?
Recently, I’ve received so many questions about how to support clients through this process that I put together a 90-minute recorded training called Addressing Trauma Through Couples Therapy.
I firmly believe that couples work is uniquely suited to resolve unaddressed, painful trauma. By integrating solid theory and actionable steps, you can set a course of treatment that supports your client’s transformation.
Watch this 90-minute recorded training on Addressing Trauma Through Couples Therapy.
Meet Your Teacher, Dr. Ellyn Bader
Featured In:
The 5 Types of Trauma and Couples Therapy
No matter what combination of the 5 types of trauma your client has endured, clues tend to pop up in sessions that can help you know what’s salient.
- How couples therapy is uniquely suited to help trauma survivors develop a voice
- When and how to address past interpersonal trauma when a couple entered therapy for a different issue
- Deciding what trauma issues are best treated in individual therapy or couples work
- Understanding how early developmental trauma impacts couples development
- The role of shame and how it affects couples development
This framework is designed to help therapists seeing couples with trauma as well as therapists seeing individual clients with painful and unresolved issues in their primary relationships.
Frequently Asked Questions
- Couples therapists who have cases with trauma.
- Individual therapists who see people that are reporting painful and unresolved issues in their primary relationships.
- How to recognize the 5 types of trauma
- Identifying clearly what is unresolved for a person in the room
- Deciding whether the best approach is individual therapy or couples work and collaborating well with other professionals
- Outlining an organized treatment plan for couples who have past interpersonal trauma between them, in order to set a good pace for the couple to progress
- When and how to address past interpersonal trauma within a couple if they entered therapy for a different issue
- Understanding more about how early developmental trauma impacts couples development
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