Developmental Model

Support emotional risk-taking by using proactive empathy

Moment by Moment: 6 Developmental Assists to Support Your Work. #6 Support emotional risk-taking by using proactive empathy… Read more...

Help partners stay in differentiation-based tension

Moment by Moment: 6 Developmental Assists to Support Your Work. #5 Help partners stay in differentiation-based tension… Read more...

Clearly encapsulate each partner’s individual issues

Moment by Moment: 6 Developmental Assists to Support Your Work. #4 Clearly encapsulate each partner’s individual issues… Read more...

Disrupt symbiosis and support self definition

Moment by Moment: 6 Developmental Assists to Support Your Work. #3 Disrupt symbiosis and support self-definition… Read more...

Protect and build on micro-connections

Moment by Moment: 6 Developmental Assists to Support Your Work. #2 Protect and build on micro-connections… Read more...

Sidestep negativity when couples bring up the fight of the week

Moment by Moment: 6 Developmental Assists to Support Your Work. #1 Sidestep negativity when couples bring up the fight of the week… Read more...

Losing Direction: Where Are You Going and What Is Your Roadmap?

Direction-imageWe’ve been discussing losing control and losing momentum. Today’s post is about losing direction. It might feel like the same kind of discomfort, but the reason is different. Perhaps you are in the middle of a session and unexpectedly you feel surprised, overwhelmed, or incompetent.… Read more...

What do you do when therapy stalls after the first few sessions?

couples therapy stalls Ask Ellyn #8: I am good at getting started with couples, but after 8-10 sessions I feel stuck. I seemed to make headway at the beginning, but now my sessions seem repetitive. What am I missing? The couple keeps bringing up the same old complaints. What do you do when therapy stalls?… Read more...

How do you work with a partner who is stuck in problem-solving?

Young couple with problem in therapy session on reception for family psychologist Ask Ellyn #7: A common problem I encounter is one partner who is stuck in problem-solving rather than being able to listen or be empathic. How do you start changing this dynamic?  … Read more...

How do you transform demanding, self-absorbed partners?

self-absorbed partner in therapy session Ask Ellyn #6: I get incredibly frustrated with clients who are so wrapped up in themselves that they dominate sessions and make outrageous demands on their partners while expecting little of themselves. I haven’t been able to disrupt this pattern.  How do you transform such selfishness?… Read more...
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