Therapists’ Blog

Welcome to our Therapists’ Blog, where we post insights and innovative techniques for couples therapists. Just scan and click to read the articles below, choose by category on the bottom right, or use the search box above. You can also sign up to receive these by email by providing your name and email address in the boxes to the right.

Support emotional risk-taking by using proactive empathy

Moment by Moment: 6 Developmental Assists to Support Your Work. #6 Support emotional risk-taking by using proactive empathy… Read more...

Help partners stay in differentiation-based tension

Moment by Moment: 6 Developmental Assists to Support Your Work. #5 Help partners stay in differentiation-based tension… Read more...

Clearly encapsulate each partner’s individual issues

Moment by Moment: 6 Developmental Assists to Support Your Work. #4 Clearly encapsulate each partner’s individual issues… Read more...

Disrupt symbiosis and support self definition

Moment by Moment: 6 Developmental Assists to Support Your Work. #3 Disrupt symbiosis and support self-definition… Read more...

Protect and build on micro-connections

Moment by Moment: 6 Developmental Assists to Support Your Work. #2 Protect and build on micro-connections… Read more...

Sidestep negativity when couples bring up the fight of the week

Moment by Moment: 6 Developmental Assists to Support Your Work. #1 Sidestep negativity when couples bring up the fight of the week… Read more...

How to Help Couples Work Towards Positive Dreams Through Visualization

Dreams and visionsToday we are discussing setting larger goals; what is commonly known as having a vision, and working towards them with visualization. Vision setting is the focus of today's blog post. It is an enormous help in couples therapy to take the focus off daily struggles and put relationship efforts into a larger context. The reality is that most couples spend more time discussing what movie they want to see, or what room is a mess than they do discussing any big dreams they have. Bringing the larger dreams into better focus helps give partners a crucial incentive to do some of the hard work in front of them. What is a vision?… Read more...

Differentiation in Couples Relationships

Disco ball in party atmosphere Recently I was interviewed by Diane Heller for her membership program. My topic was “Differentiation in Couples Relationships.” The hour-long interview covered many aspects of differentiation and why I am passionate about couples therapists really understanding the essence of differentiation. I share this with you because differentiation is what makes the difference between relationships that are stuck or boring and those that are alive and growing. I’ll be sharing some sections of the interview with you in my upcoming blogs. Today’s post introduces and discusses Differentiation in Couples Therapy.… Read more...

Couples Conference 2017 A – Z: Dan Amen to Jeff Zeig

EB presenting at Couples Conference Each year I enjoy sharing a few key points from the presentations I was able to attend at The Couples Conference. This year the conference focused on challenging issues therapists face, with special focus on addictions, affairs and sexual boundaries. With daily keynotes and multiple workshops running simultaneously, it’s impossible to attend everything. And as a presenter and co-sponsor, I was even busier than the average participant. So I can’t report on the entire conference or even on entire workshops. If you were there, please feel free to add points of interest in the commenting section at the end of this post.… Read more...

Managing First Sessions After an Affair

Couples therapy with one partner who is stuck. Treating couples in the aftermath of an affair is one of the most important challenges you will face. Other problems gradually weaken a relationship, but infidelity, once it is discovered, rips it apart abruptly and violently. So much is at stake. You have two partners who are hurting for very different reasons. They both want the pain to stop. You enter the couple’s world at this time of turmoil, rage, despair – and at a time when the meaning of the affair is fuzzy. Even though it may be presented to you as if there is one perpetrator and one victim, it’s not so conveniently black and white. How you position yourself and what you accomplish in that first session matters a lot.… Read more...
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