Dear Couples,

It is impossible for me to even estimate the number of times I
hear couples in my office say their partner doesn't listen or
understand. Often both people will say it. As my practice is in
Silicon Valley, home of some of the brightest people on the
planet, one would think understanding would come easier.

Maybe it has to do with concentration. So I'll give you a test
to check your powers of concentration.

This simple little test comprising of four questions will
determine your thinking ability. Your replies must be
spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating or wasting time.

GO!

1) Imagine you are competing in a race, and you overtake the
runner who is in second place. In which position are you now?

Answer: If you answered that you're now coming first then you're
wrong. You overtook the second runner and took their place;
therefore you're coming second. Better luck next time….

2) If you overtake the last runner, what position are you now
in?

Answer: If you answered second-last, once again you're
completely wrong. Think about it...How can you over take the
person coming last? If you're behind them then they can't be
last. It’s impossible – a trick question.

Anyway, here's another one. Don't take any notes or use a
calculator, and remember your replies must be quick.

3) Take 1000. Add 40. Add another 1000. Add 30. 1000 again. Plus
20. Plus 1000. And plus 10. What is the total?

Answer: 5000? Wrong ! The correct answer is 4100. Try again with
a calculator. Today is clearly not your day!! Although you
should manage to get the last question right...

4) Marie's father has five daughters:

1. Chacha 2. Cheche 3. Chichi 4. Chocho 5. ????

What is the fifth daughter's name? Think quickly...you'll find
the answer below...

Answer: Chuchu?

WRONG! It's Marie. Read the question carefully.

Cute, huh? How did you do?

So why am I joking around with all these puzzling questions?
They’re kind of fun, but my point is to illustrate how easy it
is to think we know what’s coming when we don’t. And considering
how many people come into my office complaining that their
spouse doesn’t listen to them, I know it’s important.

When we’ve been with our partner a while, we no longer hang on
every word they utter. In fact, we often “listen” with our mind
elsewhere. Try really paying attention during your next
conversation.

Tell next time,

Pete